Thanks, Adam. The 2nd person was a gamble which I've been petrified to try in public for years. Interestingly, the first 3 drafts didn't have it. Only when I changed those sections from the 3rd person into the 2nd, the piece started to make sense to me.
Fabulous ending!!!! This is my favorite story by JK Ghillis. The guilty was palpable long before that word was used. The dialogue with the customs woman hilarious. "The breeze felt fleshy"!!! So many sensual details. Funny details like missing molars. The scooter ride so vivid. The beloved sea.
Thank you, Lisa. Curiously enough, the ending was the very first thing that presented itself, even before I worked out the plot. Which, come to think of it, happens to me a lot. With varying results...
I guess this was the most "modestly-priced receptacle" he could find for the ashes...?
(Agree with Lisa on everything)
I can only abide by your comment.
Really like the dialogue, nice story! Also very effective alternating with the 2nd person.
Thanks, Adam. The 2nd person was a gamble which I've been petrified to try in public for years. Interestingly, the first 3 drafts didn't have it. Only when I changed those sections from the 3rd person into the 2nd, the piece started to make sense to me.
Right on, and it's funny how the second person makes it seem more like it's in the first person, if that makes any sense whatsoever!
Makes perfect sense. 3 minus 2 = 1.
Fabulous ending!!!! This is my favorite story by JK Ghillis. The guilty was palpable long before that word was used. The dialogue with the customs woman hilarious. "The breeze felt fleshy"!!! So many sensual details. Funny details like missing molars. The scooter ride so vivid. The beloved sea.
Thank you, Lisa. Curiously enough, the ending was the very first thing that presented itself, even before I worked out the plot. Which, come to think of it, happens to me a lot. With varying results...